I don't have anything to say about The Deep Ones, I 'm afraid. Inspired by the writings of H.P., written and directed by Chad Ferrin. Lovecraft ... well, if he had found out how to turn his grave around, I bet he would have done it.

Alex (Gina La Piana) and Petri (Johann Urb), who are booking an Airbnb-style coastal holiday, are The Deep Ones. Russel (Robert Miano) and Ingrid (Silvia Spross), the couple who own the house, are a little too friendly: they make breakfast for them after welcoming them, invite them out on a boat and introduce them to their mates.

This welcome (possibly expecting them to be swingers) seduces Petri, but Alex is on her guard against the decidedly odd hospitality, while the attention they are unaware of is even more odd.

There is a pretty good story here, and Ferrin has translated the old-fashioned style of Lovecraft well into a contemporary setting. The Deep Ones has the ability in sections to be very scary.

For the most part, however, the production seems cheap and very simple, like a public TV soap opera. This was especially the case for the tone, because I struggled to hear what people said (not regularly, but on and off), either because of a clash or mumbling with the background score.

The downright bad acting is worse than that, across the whole cast. Actually, there's a scene of two women looking at old documents, and it seems like sometimes they try to recall their lines. The outcome could have been considerably more exciting if the story had been entrusted to a better team. There is no suspense, just a decidedly dull pace instead.

You'll be right at home with The Deep Ones if you have any love for cheesy horror stereotypes, naff post-credit scenes, nudity, or white-robed cults. And tentacles and a creature that swum straight from Innsmouth are there.

But they look so fuckin 'plastic! I have read books for children focused on the writing of Lovecraft that showed more reverence for the source. There are so many movies "inspired" by or adapted from his work that I can not really think of any good enough excuse for watching this one. Go for Color Out of Room, or instead, even Castle Freak.