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[quote author=Rajih link=topic=17990.msg19471#msg19471 date=1588777107]
[attach=1]

1. Expressing Your Emotions

You should never apologize, or even feel like you have to apologize, for expressing your emotions. You are entitled to your emotions, whether someone understands them, or is willing to understand them or not, you are entitled to them. Never let anyone push you into apologizing for saying how you feel; it is brave to speak up when you’re hurting and having someone tell you that you’re “overly-emotional” or “overreacting” is basically them telling you they aren’t prepared to listen to how you’re feeling and support you. Usually, this is when they have done something to hurt you and they don’t have the balls to just apologize. Just because they eventually say sorry and demand you also say sorry for your so-called “overreacting”, doesn’t mean you have to do it.

2. Asking For Better

If your partner is not putting in the same amount of effort as you do, you’re allowed to ask for better. You are allowed to point it out when they consistently fall short, whether that is making time for date-nights amongst both of your busy schedules or just checking in when you are apart. You are allowed to tell them when you feel as if they don’t want to be in this relationship and that you are pushing the relationship forward by yourself. You do not have to exist in a relationship which feels one-sided, you do not have to keep your mouth shut when you feel disappointed, you do not have to keep accepting shitty treatment when you know you are worth so much more than that.

3. Following Your Dreams

You do not have to apologize for making sacrifices for your career. You do not have to answer to anyone about the journey you need to take in order to get to where you want to be. Sure, they can discuss it with you, ask you about it, but they should never make you feel as if you have to apologize for the amount of time your dreams may take to achieve. You should never be made to feel guilty that you’re working minimum wage and cannot contribute the same amount to bills and dates when you’re simply working towards a better life. If your partner is consistently putting you and your dreams down, and telling you that you might as well give up, then give up on them.

4. What You Eat/How You Choose To Live

You own your body and you own what you choose to do with it. Whether that’s exercising, eating cake or just living off pasta and wine, you’re allowed to do that and no one, especially someone who is meant to love you, can make you feel bad about that. Sure, if you have an actual problem, it would be right of them to intervene.But if you are healthy and you want to have a carb day or you absolutely hate exercise, then that is your decision. You should never feel as if you have to apologize or make excuses for what you eat or how you choose to live.

5. Not Wanting To Have Sex

You are allowed to feel tired and “not in the mood”, no matter what you have done with your day. You are allowed to want to “be ugly” and sit in your sweats with spot cream all over your face and unwashed hair. You are allowed to choose a pizza and Netflix over sexy lingerie and candle-light. He is not entitled to your body or to having sex with you, and he is not allowed to push you into feeling as if you have to apologize for not wanting to have sex. It doesn’t matter what your reason is, in fact, there doesn’t even need to be a reason, you’re allowed to say no and he damn well has to respect that. No apology needed!

6. Having Hormones/Being On Your Period

If one more guy tells me that being on my period is not an “excuse” for getting angry and/or crying over the tiniest thing, then I am going to seriously punch him in the face. You absolutely do not have to apologize for being emotional during your period, you do not have to feel ashamed of lounging around in your onesie eating peanut butter from the jar with chocolate as a spoon. You do not have to explain to someone with a penis that for this week, you are going to be cranky and exhausted and unbearable to be around. You do not ever have to say sorry for being a woman and listening to your body and your emotions. No ovaries, no opinion.

7. Wanting Space

You do not have to apologize for needing time alone to do things which are important to you. You don’t have to explain your need for self-care to someone who is supposed to love you. You are entitled to your space, you are entitled to doing things which make you happy and you are entitled to a life which feels as if you are still your own person, even when you are in a relationship.

8. Not Liking Someone Who Has Behaved Inappropriately/Is A Threat To Your Relationship

Whilst ideally you would like all of your boyfriend’s friends, sometimes there’s something about someone which you really don’t trust. Whether it’s because he mentions her a lot or she’s texting him at all hours and he doesn’t want you to know, you’re allowed to feel uncomfortable about her and you do not need to apologize for that. Us girls usually know when something is up and if you do have this feeling about a certain friend of his, then you’re allowed to express this to him, without apologizing for it, and you’re allowed to not like her.

9. Being Hurt

You do not have to apologize for being hurt after an argument and needing a little longer than he might, to recover and forgive. You don’t have to say sorry for being sensitive and having a fragile heart. You don’t need to feel bad about the fact you need longer to process a falling out than him. You are allowed to be upset after having an argument and you are allowed to still hurt from it the next day, the next week or even the next month. If he’s making you feel guilty for still “holding on” to what was said, let him go.

10. Knowing When It’s Time To Leave

You know what you can handle and what you can’t. You know your limit. You know what you want your future to look like and if he isn’t in it, then you don’t have to apologize for that. You are allowed to leave, to seek better, to choose yourself and you should never feel pushed into saying sorry for something which is ultimately the fault of the person who pushed you there. Look after yourself first and if really cares about you, he would be the one saying sorry for breaking something which had the potential to be everything.
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Topic Summary

Posted by: Rajih

« on: May 06, 2020, 03:58:27 PM »

Insert Quote

1. Expressing Your Emotions

You should never apologize, or even feel like you have to apologize, for expressing your emotions. You are entitled to your emotions, whether someone understands them, or is willing to understand them or not, you are entitled to them. Never let anyone push you into apologizing for saying how you feel; it is brave to speak up when you’re hurting and having someone tell you that you’re “overly-emotional” or “overreacting” is basically them telling you they aren’t prepared to listen to how you’re feeling and support you. Usually, this is when they have done something to hurt you and they don’t have the balls to just apologize. Just because they eventually say sorry and demand you also say sorry for your so-called “overreacting”, doesn’t mean you have to do it.

2. Asking For Better

If your partner is not putting in the same amount of effort as you do, you’re allowed to ask for better. You are allowed to point it out when they consistently fall short, whether that is making time for date-nights amongst both of your busy schedules or just checking in when you are apart. You are allowed to tell them when you feel as if they don’t want to be in this relationship and that you are pushing the relationship forward by yourself. You do not have to exist in a relationship which feels one-sided, you do not have to keep your mouth shut when you feel disappointed, you do not have to keep accepting shitty treatment when you know you are worth so much more than that.

3. Following Your Dreams

You do not have to apologize for making sacrifices for your career. You do not have to answer to anyone about the journey you need to take in order to get to where you want to be. Sure, they can discuss it with you, ask you about it, but they should never make you feel as if you have to apologize for the amount of time your dreams may take to achieve. You should never be made to feel guilty that you’re working minimum wage and cannot contribute the same amount to bills and dates when you’re simply working towards a better life. If your partner is consistently putting you and your dreams down, and telling you that you might as well give up, then give up on them.

4. What You Eat/How You Choose To Live

You own your body and you own what you choose to do with it. Whether that’s exercising, eating cake or just living off pasta and wine, you’re allowed to do that and no one, especially someone who is meant to love you, can make you feel bad about that. Sure, if you have an actual problem, it would be right of them to intervene.But if you are healthy and you want to have a carb day or you absolutely hate exercise, then that is your decision. You should never feel as if you have to apologize or make excuses for what you eat or how you choose to live.

5. Not Wanting To Have Sex

You are allowed to feel tired and “not in the mood”, no matter what you have done with your day. You are allowed to want to “be ugly” and sit in your sweats with spot cream all over your face and unwashed hair. You are allowed to choose a pizza and Netflix over sexy lingerie and candle-light. He is not entitled to your body or to having sex with you, and he is not allowed to push you into feeling as if you have to apologize for not wanting to have sex. It doesn’t matter what your reason is, in fact, there doesn’t even need to be a reason, you’re allowed to say no and he damn well has to respect that. No apology needed!

6. Having Hormones/Being On Your Period

If one more guy tells me that being on my period is not an “excuse” for getting angry and/or crying over the tiniest thing, then I am going to seriously punch him in the face. You absolutely do not have to apologize for being emotional during your period, you do not have to feel ashamed of lounging around in your onesie eating peanut butter from the jar with chocolate as a spoon. You do not have to explain to someone with a penis that for this week, you are going to be cranky and exhausted and unbearable to be around. You do not ever have to say sorry for being a woman and listening to your body and your emotions. No ovaries, no opinion.

7. Wanting Space

You do not have to apologize for needing time alone to do things which are important to you. You don’t have to explain your need for self-care to someone who is supposed to love you. You are entitled to your space, you are entitled to doing things which make you happy and you are entitled to a life which feels as if you are still your own person, even when you are in a relationship.

8. Not Liking Someone Who Has Behaved Inappropriately/Is A Threat To Your Relationship

Whilst ideally you would like all of your boyfriend’s friends, sometimes there’s something about someone which you really don’t trust. Whether it’s because he mentions her a lot or she’s texting him at all hours and he doesn’t want you to know, you’re allowed to feel uncomfortable about her and you do not need to apologize for that. Us girls usually know when something is up and if you do have this feeling about a certain friend of his, then you’re allowed to express this to him, without apologizing for it, and you’re allowed to not like her.

9. Being Hurt

You do not have to apologize for being hurt after an argument and needing a little longer than he might, to recover and forgive. You don’t have to say sorry for being sensitive and having a fragile heart. You don’t need to feel bad about the fact you need longer to process a falling out than him. You are allowed to be upset after having an argument and you are allowed to still hurt from it the next day, the next week or even the next month. If he’s making you feel guilty for still “holding on” to what was said, let him go.

10. Knowing When It’s Time To Leave

You know what you can handle and what you can’t. You know your limit. You know what you want your future to look like and if he isn’t in it, then you don’t have to apologize for that. You are allowed to leave, to seek better, to choose yourself and you should never feel pushed into saying sorry for something which is ultimately the fault of the person who pushed you there. Look after yourself first and if really cares about you, he would be the one saying sorry for breaking something which had the potential to be everything.

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Posted by: Rajih

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