Student’s S*xcapade: We Went To The Club But Ended Up In The Forest


It was a Friday night. I was looking forward to spending the weekend at my best friend, Funmi’s place. She stays outside the school premises while I stay inside the school hostel. As I braced up to get ready for another exciting weekend, little did I know that fate had a bitter experience wrapped up for me.
Funmi has been my friend since 100 level. We are now in 300 level but my love for her has not in any way diminished. What with her smartness, fun-loving nature and above all, her exceptional brilliance. Although a bit of a spoilt kid, I totally love every bit of her because she inspires me.
“How far? You never pack your bag since? I don tire o, I wan dey go…
I can’t wait to get home, eat and fall into my bed,” Funmi said, looking at me with respite that day.


I had packed my bag already but was looking for my ‘early morning personal effects’ like toothbrush, sponge, towel and all. I had used them in the morning, but couldn’t put them in the bag because I needed them to be dry.
It was the second time I would be spending the weekend at her place and the first experience was great. She had told me this time around, her rich boyfriend would be taking us out, to a club probably.
No sooner had we gotten to her place than her boyfriend, Richards, buzzed her on phone. I didn’t hear what he said but from her responses, he was checking on her and also asking if we were prepared for the night’s outing. I was expectant and eager.
When we got to the club, I was all smiles. I was in the mood even before we started out. My spirit was high. Richards was seated afar, gulping bottles of spirit while we were on the dance floor digging it.


I enjoyed myself till it was time for us to head home. I didn’t know I was in for some scenes I had only witnessed in Nigerian movies.
“I told you to always lock the car’s door slowly! Do you want to break it apart?”, Richard faced Funmi as she hurriedly jammed the front door of the jeep. I wondered why Richards, who was loving, subtle and caring some hours ago, was talking as if he does not care.


“Calm down nah, wetin dey do you? Abi no be this same jeep? It’s my brother’s toy at home…please stop ranting!” Funmi replied her boyfriend, with the plainest of all facial expressions…(or so I supposed).
This obviously didn’t go down well with Richard who I later noticed was drunk to the stupor. We had already moved past major highways and we were driving along a road with bushes on our sides and Richards, who was obviously pissed from the last statement from his girlfriend, halted the car in the middle of the road.


Before we girls could finish wondering what he was up to, Richards was already by the other side of the car, dragging down Funmi from his car by the bush!
I was speechless. I could not say a word! What came to my mind like a flash was already happening right in front of me! Funmi was still forming. She was like “ehn, what’s wrong with you? Do you want to leave us in this bush? I trust you!”
Before I could pretend as if I was not part of the drama happening right in front of me, Richard looked at me at the back side and didn’t utter a word before I knew I had to go down. I stood beside Funmi as she ranted, while her boyfriend who she thought could not leave us in the jungle, zoomed off. He was dead drunk, his driving too was abnormal.
I stood at the side of the road, watched the jeep’s rear light disappear into the dark, until I could not catch a glimpse of it anymore.
We didn’t stand too long when we heard a whistle blowing. At first, it sounded like that of a vigilante but who could have been watching over a bush?
An impending danger dawned on us when we heard some footsteps alongside the whistle, with incoherent incantations. It was like my mind and that of Funmi had a pep talk. We ran into the bush together at once. As minutes went by, we went further into the bush but Funmi was tired and it seemed the incantations got louder.
As I tried to help Funmi up, so we could proceed, my eyes stumbled on an area in the bush which had some movements. I motioned to my friend to keep mute. As I looked closely, there in front of me was a man carrying out what looked like a ritual, he was stark naked, with a bowl of calabash sitting carefully on his two palms!
Another aged man was far behind him, holding a branch of plant, saying some words I had only heard in the Nigerian make-believe movie industry. I was shocked! My head became twice its normal size…(so I felt).
They went their way while we prayed for morning sun to come out as quickly as possible before our eyes behold another abomination. I’m not sure I will go out with anyone ever again at midnight.